Excerpt from H.M.S Irene

I've been chattering quite a bit on Facebook, twitter, and the rest about the kraken story I am attempting.  I have to admit, it's a bit of a challenge; a steampunk themed tale including a kraken and based on the horrible prideful mentalities that lead to such tragedies as the events surrounding the downed Blackhawks in Mogadishu and the sinking of the Titanic, all taking place on a submersible modeled after the Hunley. This story was intended to be a part of, Brink, my upcoming collection of short stories that take place on the edge of an event horizon (You can read more here and here).  I'm not sure if that's where it's supposed to live, though.  We will see.  At any rate, I think it's been way too long since I've posted some writing on here.  So, here's a bit of my newest short story: HMS Irene.  I hope you enjoy. 

HMS Irene
      The docks were crowded, as was the air above, thick with everything from dirigibles to their humble cousins the balloon.  Waitresses clad in skin tight mockeries of sailor's uniforms circled the crowd with plates of delicacies, squid featured heavily, much to the delight of the crowd.  Even the band was there, majestic and miserable in their full dress regalia, and almost able to mask the din of the factories up the street.  Lieutenant Dominique Brusad eyed their sweaty, flushed faces with a combination of empathy and jealousy.  Dressed in her deep water gear, Dominique was sweating as much as they.  They, however, would get to return to base once this was over.  If it ever did get over.  Dominique glanced surreptitiously at the intricate dials and gears that made up the face of her watch, a gift from her mother and father when she graduation from the Academy. What was taking so long?
     On board the HMS Irene three large men were crammed into the cabin of the submersible.  Their shoulders were hunched and their proud, out thrust chests nearly brushed one another, medal on metal as it were.  The cabin had been designed to hold only two, and two navigators at that.  Navigators were selected partially because of their petite frames, elected officials and Generals were not.